Nanhai and Guangzhou - March through June 2002





Welcome to the virtual tour of Nanhai. Let's start with my building. My apartment is the one on the bottom left.



. . . . . .




Views from my apartment, looking to the southeast . . .



. . . . . .




. . . the southwest . . .



. . . . . .




. . . and the northwest.



. . . . . .




My fourth floor view is obstructed by a building. This would be (something like) my view if that wasn't the case.



. . . . . .




My office (balcony).



. . . . . .




My apartment's sitting room. Long Live Chairman Mao!



. . . . . .




This is where the magic happens.



. . . . . .


. . .

My bathroom, mid-construction and finished. Notice thatin both of these shots, I have my finger over the lens. I am an excellent photographer, yeah, excellent photographer. Wapner sucks.



. . . . . .




And finally, the kitchen. It's pretty small and I have to bend over to use anything in the place, but it ain't bad.



. . . . . .




Studies show that the roaches prefer Raid brand roach bait to bread crumbs in taste tests two to one!



. . . . . .






Morning exercise is five minutes of jumping around like a schizo twice a day that does absolutely nothing for your health.



. . . . . .




Every monday at 9:10 the students assemble for the flag ceremony. They told me they didn't like to do it. I asked them what the penalty for missing it was and they didn't know. They don't break enough rules over here.



. . . . . .




Almost two thousand college students try to get lunch from ten open windows in a fifteen minute span of time.



. . . . . .




OK, kids! What do you wnat for lunch today? Rice or . . . rice?



. . . . . .




I've got this hog up to about 80 Kph. If I didn't have this thing, my life here would be completely different, and it wouldn't be a change for the better.



. . . . . .




No, I haven't heard the one about mopeds and fat girls, jackass.



. . . . . .




This guy did the most thorough job patching my tire, and then the shit went down.



. . . . . .




Rollin, in my 5.0 with the rag top down so my hair can blow . . . Wait a sec, I'm riding a moped, I have a helmet on, and that song is cliche.



. . . . . .




Katie makes a terrifying monster.



. . . . . .




Her day job is definding the planet as a space ninja.



. . . . . .




Pardon me; do I have something in my teeth?



. . . . . .




Count the human-rights violations in this picture.



. . . . . .




A real Chinese sweatshop. When I first heard this word in fourth grade or so, the pictures I conjured up always had everyone garbed in sweatpants and sweatshirts. None of that in the real thing.



. . . . . .




The USDA would have a field day at this place.



. . . . . .




I just keep thinking to myself ". . .as long as I cook it thoroughly . . ."



. . . . . .




I got my picture taken with a cople of Foshan prostitutes. This shot was gonna be good but the stupid ho had her finger halfway across the lens.



. . . . . .




Here we see a John getting what for from a bunch of whoooas.



. . . . . .




They said taking pictures of Chinese cemeteries is bad luck. I think I did almost get hit by a taxi the day I took this picture, but aside from that, I'm doing fine.



. . . . . .




Some of my students have never seen cemeteries. As you can see here, they're just like the rest of China; they fit as many people as they can into a ridiculously small space, and then pollute the shit out of the place.



. . . . . .




These cranes are HUGE. They're about 300 feet tall.



. . . . . .




There was a white guy with a GSI jumpsuit on and I decided to ask him how to see these cranes. He said, "Just walk in as if you own the place and no one will care." I find that works a lot in China if you're white



. . . . . .




Labor is cheap here. That woman is hauling that cart full of sand to some place down the road which is about three hundred yards away.



. . . . . .




This place probably cost about $20,000 USD to build, but the rent's cheap!



. . . . . .






This is the "Porcelain Chip" (tile) capital of China. Those boats are carrying sand to create the stuff. I live in a very industrial part of China. People around where I live are the richest people in China.



. . . . . .




Just some dingy street of the town where I bought my moped. To the right, there was this dirty old woman with her ass hanging out just walking in circles. I didn't ask.



. . . . . .




Just some road. It looks really Chinese . . . I don't know, it's just how I pictured it to look. I bet if I rotated it 20 degrees in Photoshop it would look cooler . . .



. . . . . .




See, if this picture wasn't tilted, it would just look like a regular road, but it's tilted see? It's all crazy and stuff.



. . . . . .




I don't know why, but I really like this picture.



. . . . . .




And this one. This is what a lot of more suburban areas surrounding me look like.



. . . . . .




Foshan's version of the eiffel tower.



. . . . . .




The Dali exhibit at the Guangdong Museum of Art was a couple of his sculptures and a bunch of LITHOGRAPHS. Didn't even have a lithograph of Persistence of Memory.



. . . . . .




OK, I understand the concept of SUVs, but this is just overkill.



. . . . . .




Chinese guys in the park getting their Mah Jongg on.



. . . . . .




This girl and her friend bought me ice cream and showed me this cool park, which was nice. Then she started spitting all over the place, which is a total dealbreaker.



. . . . . .




That's right. Who's your daddy.



. . . . . .




Buggin out major with my homiez.



. . . . . .




Your friendly neighborhood streetside dentist's office. Looks sanitary!



. . . . . .




I estimated that there were almost three thousand bikes under this canopy. It's the parking garage for a secondary level boarding school. There are a lot of people in China.



. . . . . .




Chickon.



. . . . . .




I like to think that I'm really not that far away from this guy in spirit.



. . . . . .




Oh yes. The Steak King.



. . . . . .




Strong Man Condom. Buy now. You will have many sex with blonde woman look on box.



. . . . . .




That's a rice cooker in the center of the picture, and that's a fat kid who is very pleased. The moral of the story: If any of this kid's friends ever saw this ad, they'd waste no time kicking the living shit out of him.



. . . . . .




HOLY SHIT, SCOOB! That's like the HUGEST TREE I ever saw!



. . . . . .




I live twenty minutes from the nicest Pizza Hut on the face of the earth. One of my friends said last week "You know, pizza is expensive here . . ." It's funny 'cause it's true.



. . . . . .




The banner at the top of the picture says "Red White man uses Flying Dragon style to defend honor of big yellow M."



. . . . . .




WHO WANTS SOME ICE CREAM!?



. . . . . .


Nothin left to see here. Jump back on The D!