Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Monday, March 24, 2003
There was a kid that was in our advisor group that everyone thought had sex with his cat. They also thought he lubed up nerf footballs and had his way with them, too. Kids can be so mean sometimes. And then, when we were camping out, one of the girls in our advisor group asked if he did . . . I mean, come on, what was the guy gonna say? There's Truth or Dare and there's Truth or Dare.
Anyway, check this out.
5:32 PM . . .
Sunday, March 23, 2003
12:43 PM . . .
Friday, March 21, 2003
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
You know what I just love? The signs on the road that say "Watch for Low-Flying Aircraft" and "Watch for Falling Rocks." I love those. I've got a question; unless I took my driver's ed courses in the Temple of Doom, how am I supposed to adjust my driving for these 'falling rocks?' And how do you dodge low-flying aircraft? I mean, if that sucker is goin' down, it's goin down and there isn't much that you're going to be able to do about it. Are we in agreement on this or what?
Now that we got that out of the way, how am I supposed to modify my lifestyle for the changes in the "Terror Alert" level? Is there anything I can do when the terror alert rises from Yellow to Orange? Orange to Dark Orange? Anyone? It seems the only thing the heightened terror alert heightens is the level of fear in our more insecure American compatriots.
I remember Wargames with Matthew Broderick where he was playing "Global Thermonuclear War" with that computer and they raised the alert level to, like, DEFCON 2 when he initiated launch sequences for missles in Russia. So what's the equivalent of DEFCON 2 these days? You tell me when we're at DEFCON 2 and I'll start practicing my terror prevention skillz.
And at this moment, my Star Search has been interrupted by breaking news in Iraq. Duck and cover!
6:35 PM . . .
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
In the 500 page book "Sex: A Man's Guide," the section on foreplay is four pages long.
5:11 AM . . .
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
OK, just this one more thing before I go:Friend: Hey
Me: What's up?
Friend: Tonight's episode of 24 brought up an interesting question for friend 2 and I
Me: Ok, shoot
Friend: What do you think will happen first:
Friend: Woman president?
Friend: Black president?
Friend: Or nuclear bomb going off inside the US?
Friend: My guess is woman president. But if it's Hillary, I'd prefer the bomb.
Friend: Friend 2 says Shirley Jackson could do all three . . .
7:42 PM . . .
The D train is going on hiatus until further notice. I have realized that I am a complete bag of poop regarding my new job and am doing something to change that starting now. That doesn't mean forsaking the D forever, it just means that I need a temporary shakeup for a life-reprioritization.
I will report any life-altering discoveries as they come.
11:46 AM . . .